One Starfish at a time...

Doug was in the US a few weeks back and ordered "us" an iPad. He promised it was for me, but I kept teasing him it would most likely disappear every morning just like the Kindle does. To my surprise, the iPad came with the following inscription on the back: "I moved you to China and all you got was this iPad." So I guess it is indeed mine now. The ironic thing though is that I feel that this move has given me way more than just an iPad. I have been given the gift of time. It’s not often that a mother of two kids under 4 can say that they have too much free time. But with that gift I feel comes a great responsibility. Trust me, there are many ways I could spend my time. Spas, shopping, lunches, spas, shopping…well, you get the gist. Unfortunately, my mommy guilt keeps me from partaking in those leisurely activities too often.

The challenge then becomes how my time and talents are best spent. The volunteer activities for foreigners in Shanghai seem to be limited primarily to orphanages. In talking with other "tai tais", it seems that the government seeks to limited the exposure of one's own dirty laundry. And everyone already knows that there are plenty of kids here that don't have proper homes or a strong family unit. Whether it’s because they were abandoned, their parents are in jail, or they are orphans in the original sense of the word, there are upwards of 4 million children in China that live in orphanages and need a support system to survive and hopefully, one day, find a new family. I have been hesitant to get involved with one of the hundreds of organizations that solicit help from expats mainly because I wanted it to be the right one; the one that I could help the most. A few weeks ago I went to a parent meeting at the kid’s school and was introduced to the Starfish organization. Their mission is to provide medical treatment and care for orphans, whether it be physical deformities, like cleft palates or spina bifida, or sicknesses, like heart defects or cerebral palsy. They strive to give them a restored life in hopes that they can be adopted. Even if they are not adopted, the hope is that they can “face tomorrow with a renewed confidence and hope”. It all hit home for me. The link to the medical community here in Shanghai and their need for people who could help kids in a medical setting, not just in orphanages. I left the meeting with a new purpose and date for the following Thursday.

My first “ride-along” was very enlightening. We first went to one of the orphanages about 45 minutes from Shanghai to pick up two children. They both have cerebral palsy and had been approved by the Starfish medical board for additional rehabilitation paid for by Starfish in hopes of improving their condition so that they could be adopted. The orphanage was my first…anywhere. I had mentally prepared myself for something much worse than what I found when we arrived. And I was relieved. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a bit overwhelming, but it was clean (to China’s standards) and the kids were obviously cared for. The orphanage was mostly boys who had been abandoned due to some medical condition that they had most likely been born with. Cerebral palsy, downs syndrome, and a number of other life altering conditions. But when we walked into the room, a bag of candy in tow, the kids just lit up. New faces, new voices, new attention. They clung to our hands, leading us around their room filled with just wooden chairs for them to sit on and a single table in the middle. Their 3 ayis (caretakers) seemed caring and took turns with each of the boys as a need arose. But there was little time for playful interaction. The reality was that they had 20 children with a number of different physical issues. So, instead it seemed that they could only focus on their physical needs. But as I walked around to each child, putting a wad of taffy in each of their mouths, you saw a glimpse of each one’s personality. And once they knew I was the keeper of the candy, I had 20 new best friends. We then went up on the roof where we spent a half hour or so just playing with them. I had one little 4-5 year old boy rolling on the floor laughing from this well-used Buzz Lightyear jumping in and out of the plastic bin and on to his scratchy wool sweater. We then took the two boys we had come for back in our cars to the rehabilitation center. For them, it was most likely their first car ride. When we asked the ayi that rode with them to put their seatbelt on, she put it across them and then tied it into a knot to hold it in place. Once we arrived, they were greeted with lots of excitement by the staff, fed a hot meal, and then brought in to the common room to their new bed where all of the kids were going down for a rest. When we were getting ready to leave, one of the two boys we had brought told us that he never wanted to leave. He has a long road ahead of him, basically learning to walk at the age of 6, but hopefully he will go from this facility to his new family. Only time will tell.

So, hopefully I am able to continue to help these kids, this foundation. They were able to help 25 kids last year, some for as little as 3200RMB (~$500). I spend more than that a month in food! But as with anything, it starts with just one. One starfish, stranded on the beach just hoping to be thrown back in to the waves.

(Click on the picture above to learn more about what Starfish does here in China.)