The Power of One

The faint cries of a child, like a whisper in the dark.  Left on a doorstep to an orphanage, on the side of the road, in a back alley.  Abandoned and helpless.  Maybe the child has a birth defect, a severe medical condition, or physical deformity.  Or maybe it is a perfect child, only left by its parents for reasons we don’t understand. 

For those of us that live in China, this is a story we are all too familiar with.  And for those who live elsewhere, perhaps it is one that we have read about time after time.  Either way, it is a true story.  A story far too common in a country whose orphan population is growing exponentially year after year.  Currently publicly available estimates show that there are currently over 1 million children living in orphanages in China.  The harsh reality may be that the number is substantially higher as records are not kept on many of the orphaned children.  

Upon moving to China, I was bombarded by organizations all focused on helping these children, most of which provide foster care, food, medical care, or just plain love and attention for these lost children.  All of these organizations do incredible things and make a tremendous difference in the lives of so many. And like most of us living here, I felt a call to help, but struggled for months trying to find the organization that I fit best with.  Within minutes of meeting the Starfish Charitable Foundation (http://www.starfishtrust.org.hk), I knew I had found the right one.

The Starfish mission is simple.  To help children with medical needs receive the medical treatment they need to restore them to full health, be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  Starfish strives towards the goal of helping these children, not only lifting up their hands or feet again, but most importantly, we hope they can lift up their hearts and heads bravely to face tomorrow.  By using our greatest gift, God’s love, we pray they would be filled with His love and hope, completely healed and changed!

On May 18^th, I will run the Beijing Great Wall Half Marathon.  It is something that I have wanted to do since learning about it, something I feel a need to do before we leave China to mark my time here.  As I started my training, I felt that the experience deserved to be something more than just a run on the historical landmark.  You see, Starfish is a firm believer in the Power of One – No matter who you are, you can make a difference as long as you are willing.  This was my chance to bring greater awareness to those that have changed me, these beautiful children and their stories and the volunteers that so tirelessly and diligently give their time and their love in hopes that they too can make a lasting impact.  

Starfish has just opened a Feeding Home here in Shanghai.  Our Feeding Home provides these children a nurturing environment, giving them warm clothes, nourishment, and love until they are healthy enough for their Starfish-sponsored corrective surgery.  We currently have 4 babies between 5-7 months old living there.  My goal for this race is to raise RMB 18,000 (USD$2,900) to provide for one of these beautiful children for the next year until they are fit for surgery.  The simple day-to-day necessities we all take for granted, diapers, milk powder, and any special supplies that they may need to feed properly with their condition.  

Doug and I were lucky enough to meet a very special family 4 years ago that taught us a life lesson, Sempre Avanti, Always Forward.  And that is what this is about.  To help a child leave the beginnings of their life behind them and move forward with the blessings they have been given.  Every child deserves to be hugged, rocked, and sang to.  To have a full belly, a clean diaper, and a warm place to sleep.   To have someone stare adoringly into their eyes and tell them how beautiful they are.  To feel loved.

The Power of One.

Your donation, whether big or small, will impact, transform and restore young lives forever. So please donate and make a difference today!

1. By Check
   Please make check payable to “Starfish Charitable Foundation Limited” and send it to:
   Starfish Charitable Foundation Limited
   c/o Valerie Lohse
   PO Box 1381
   Corning, NY 14845
2. By Direct Debit
   Direct debit to our account at:
   Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited, Hong Kong
   Beneficiary: Starfish Charitable Foundation Ltd.
   Bank Account No: 004-652-050493-838
   Swift Code: HSBCHKHHHKH
   
3. By Cash (in China)
   Contact Valerie Lohse at: hokieval@gmail.com
   186.1650.7232

We will issue official receipts for all donations.

Nouveau Rich

This is what a half a million dollars looks like.  

 

Our neighbor....a twenty-something long-haired Chinese guy who rides the clutch like you wouldn't believe when he takes the Lamborghini for a spin.  

 

No baseball in the yard, that's for sure.  Can you imagine??

 

Our kids are going to be SO jaded...

Girls Weekend

I have always wanted to go to Harbin, a second-tier city in the far northeast corner of China.  This "Ice City" is known for its Russian influence and its annual Snow and Ice Festival (one of four in the entire world) held each year.  But it is bitterly cold, with highs during the festival of less than 0 degrees Fahrenheit.  So instead of hauling the family and all of our cold gear up to Harbin, a group of us ladies decided to do a short one-night trip to check this China must-see off the list.


It was worth the trip, but was indeed close to the coldest weather I have ever been in, with the nighttime temps around -15F.  And we were lucky enough to also experience some of the worst pollution on record, with the levels on Saturday exceeding what could be even be measured. But it only takes a few good friends and a few bottles of beer to make it a memorable one.  

Kristin through a single ice block

Walking across the frozen Songhua River

The Great Wall made out of Snow

More snow sculptures

The Ladies

Back to Basics

I am home a lot more these days, trying to get Carter into a schedule and giving him a bit more solid sleep than what he gets in the car, stroller, at gymnastics, swimming lessons…well, you get the picture.  I have started eating lunch with my ayi a bit more and working on my Chinese language skills with some small talk.  Like most small talk, it starts with talk about the weather, the weekend activities, the kids, etc.  This past Thursday, I was busy getting ready for Thanksgiving.  We got talking and we got on the subject of our upcoming move (just within Shanghai…our landlord is kicking us out.)  I told her we had decided to stay in the building, just moving down 5 floors.  She asked what happened to the other place I had told her about and I told her it was too expensive.  Then she asked the dreaded question…how much was our rent going to be.  You see, I have successfully avoided this question a few times before.  But this time, here I was sitting across the table from her, sharing a meal.  There was no avoiding it.  So, I bit my lip and uttered the words, RMB 50k/month.  Yes, it is an obnoxious amount of money and luckily we don’t pay the monthly bill.  Doug and I always joke that this is the most expensive place we will ever live in.  Our apartment is on the market for something like $10 million USD.  

It is crazy.  And embarrassing. 

She then goes on to tell me about her apartment.  She pays RMB 700/month.  She has no heat, no hot water, and she has pans all over her apartment (which is the size of our living room) to catch the water coming in from the ceiling.  I ask her why her landlord doesn’t fix it.  She says he doesn’t have to.  She says that she has tried to move to a better place, but everything better is around RMB2,000/month, two thirds of her monthly salary.  So, she stays.  Not because she wants to, but because it is the best she can afford.  She explains that is why she showers here; it is just incredibly cold at her apartment.

I continue to listen and stare down at my lunch, thinking about what our life would be like if that was how we lived.  And honestly, I can’t.  

A few hours later, walking to school with a $10 pumpkin pie in tow for Sophia’s class to try, I can’t stop thinking about my earlier conversation.  I pass people on the corners with little signs, advertising their skills, hoping for a day’s work.  Tucked away behind the storefronts are tiny apartments with their windows  open, laundry drying on the electric poles outside.  A shiny black hummer pulls up beside me, stops in the middle of the road and a presumably wealthy Chinese man jumps out and walks into a local restaurant.  The hummer just sits there waiting, traffic piling up behind it.  

The disparity of wealth in this country is astounding.  Perhaps it isn’t more than other countries, but it is so much more obvious here.  On every block, there are million dollar apartments surrounded by ones that might not make it through the winter.  There are people carrying $5000 handbags walking next to those carrying the fake $5 version.  There are electric scooters showing more duck tape than paint sitting at the stop light next to a bright orange Lamborghini.  

This is the thing I struggle with the most living here.  For me, right or wrong, it translates into guilt, something  that I carry around every day knowing what I have and what so many do not.  And it’s especially hard with those whose lives are intertwined so closely with ours.  And what is more insane is that we live a modest life compared to many of the Chinese here.  I struggle with how I can help, how I can make a difference.  But the sheer number of people here and the extreme inequality makes it feel impossible. 

This Thanksgiving, my list of what I am thankful for is different than most past years.  Yes, I am thankful for my family and friends, my children and loving husband.  But this year I feel especially grateful for having my basic needs in life met.  I am thankful that my children are warm when they fall asleep.  I am thankful that my house is dry and that I don’t have to wake up in the morning wondering if the buckets overflowed with water last night while I slept.  I am thankful that my family has food on the table every night and never even flirts with true hunger. 

And oddly enough, I am thankful for my feelings of guilt, as they are my daily reminder of how much I have and how much others don’t.  And hopefully that feeling keeps me grounded and doesn’t let me fall into feeling complacent.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Our City

And our crazy kids...We wouldn't change a thing.

They Continue to Amaze Us

Hobbies

If I ever knew what this word meant, 5 years of being a parent has caused me to forget.  But over the past year with both Sophia and Eric in school, I have been able to explore a few interests that I had forgotten I had.  

Photography was something that has been easy for me to pick up here.  There is just so much around us every day that is interesting and different for my foreign eye.  It is also a fun way to document our time here. 

Here are a few of what I think are my best photos from my last class.  Maybe one day I can make this something more than a hobby.  Who knows...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Visit from the Wisch Grandparents

Grandma Les and Grandpa Don showed up on our doorstep in April and asked if they could stay for 6 weeks.  Lucky for them, they came bearing lots of scooby snacks & chocolate kisses, so we decided we would let them in.

Mom on The Bund in Shanghai

On the Great Wall (click to see more pics)

We did a fair amount of traveling within China while they were here, but also were able to spend alot of time in Shanghai, relaxing, playing with the kids, and enjoying our afternoon lunches.  It truly was fantastic having them here and we were sad to see them go.  The kids still ask them on skype when they are coming back to our house again. 

Hope you had fun Grandma and Grandpa.  We know we sure did!

Mom and Dad in Xi'an with the Terracotta Warriors

The high speed train

The Great Wall

Welcome to Chengdu, home of the Giant Panda!

Buying Pandas

Holding a REAL Panda (click to see more pics from Chengdu)

Playing a little one-on-one.  Grandma was impressive!

Reading to Sophia's Class and teaching them what sound a turkey makes

We will miss you!!

To Squat or Not to Squat

Potty training with Sophia has not been fun.  She is two months shy of 3 and is pretty insistent that diapers work just fine for her. We have bought all of the special underwear, used stickers, chocolate, lollipops, anything we can think of to bribe her to walk to the bathroom and just sit on that toilet.  But she’s not having it.  Some may describe her as stubborn and independent, having decided she will take those diapers off when she is good and ready.  Her teachers tell me, “Just be patient.  She will do it on her own time.”  

  

Admittedly, part of me is getting a bit worried that she is going to be 5, wearing diapers and sucking her thumb.  But then another part of me is thankful, as I am fully aware of what is to come.

Yep, squat toilets.  And it isn’t the actual toilet that worries me, it is navigating it with a little girl that has little balance and coordination and a mommy that unfortunately is lacking the same traits. 

For those of you that have never experienced a squat toilet, let me tell you.  It requires leg strength, balance, and lots of luck.  The logistics are overwhelming really.  Where to put your coat so that it doesn’t dip into the toilet.  How to balance your purse on your lap while you dig through it looking for that one piece of Kleenex that is buried in there somewhere (yep, you guessed it, toilet paper is not supplied!) How far back do you stand so that you make it in, but don’t fall in.  And don’t even get me started on the sanitation concerns.  Let’s just say, it is complicated.

So, you can see why I am not looking forward to leaving the house in the midst of potty training.  Boys are easy.  They can walk in, do their business standing up, and walk out literally without touching a thing.  But girls…different story.

Now, I am left contemplating a few different things.  How bad is it really that Sophia may still wearing diapers at 5?  Do kids really need water to survive?  Or maybe I shouldn’t have judged all those Chinese moms who put their kids in split pants as babies and let them squat in the streets.  At least they are out of diapers by the age of 1 and they haven’t had to try to hover their 35 pound child over the hole in the floor. 

I guess we will just have to wait and see.

2.1.12

I have never been a date person.  Don't get me wrong, I remember all of the important ones, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and such.  But I have never been one to make a big fuss over other "anniversaries".  Right or wrong, I guess I am just more focused on the present than I am on the past.

So in typical "me" fashion, I let a pretty important date just go by with very little acknowledgement.  February 1st marked our 1-year anniversary of our move to China.  To be honest, I only remembered because someone new I had met that morning asked me how long I had lived here.  Doing the math in my head, I realized it was no longer almost a year.  We had indeed hit that milestone.  But that was it, the day came and went just like any other day.

However, last week, Eric brought this home from school.  Yep, you guessed it, they are Chinese characters, properly written Chinese characters.  And there are pages upon pages more that our prolific little writer keeps producing.  It was only after I stood at the kitchen table, beaming with pride watching Eric write these mini pieces of art with such determination and skill, that I realized how important our 1-year milestone was to acknowledge.

Standing there, all I kept thinking of was "wow, look how far we have come!"  We tackled this adventure from the start as a family, a team.  And while we have had our challenges and worked our butts off, we, our little family, has truly thrived in the past year together.  Each of us in our own ways. 

We live, I mean really live in China!!!  Yes, it's Shanghai, arguably one of the easiest cities in China for a foreigner to live, but it's still China.  We speak enough of the language to go a whole day out and about without relying on English (though it may not be pretty!)  Our kids are happy, really happy, love their school, and beg everyday to play with their international community of friends.  Doug's job is going really well, although it continues to be challenging and stressful. 

What I realized is that in the last year, our family has established a home in a country so foreign that sometimes it feels like we are on another planet.  But we did it, together.  And that deserves to be acknowleged.

A Glimpse

Wagons Lined up at the Local Wet Market

Riding in Style

A Local Budda

It's Crab Season

Seafood Market